Over the years I have collected my favorite “KJVisms.” These are usually dated expressions in the King James Version that are odd-sounding to modern ears. In no way do I mean to be critical of the KJV or even of these expressions. As a matter of fact, I absolutely love them for their odd beauty and quaintness. So my tribute to the KJV (1611-2011) follows. I have italicized in each verse my favorite expressions.
Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate.
(Hangin’ with the homeys in the projects?)
Acts 17:5 But the Jews which believed not, moved with envy, took unto them certain lewd fellows of the baser sort, and gathered a company, and set all the city on an uproar, and assaulted the house of Jason, and sought to bring them out to the people.
(Lewd fellows? Are these those guys in Palm Springs?)
2 Corinthians 8:1 Moreover, brethren, we do you to wit of the grace of God bestowed on the churches of Macedonia.
(Laughing at the churches?)
Jude 9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.
(What do rail trains have to do with Michael?)
Jude 6 And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day.
(Where did they move to? Bakersfield?)
James 1:11 For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withereth the grass, and the flower thereof falleth, and the grace of the fashion of it perisheth: so also shall the rich man fade away in his ways.
(How much more elegant than the bland expression: “and it died”)
James 1:21 Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
(Now that is a euphemism if there ever was one!)
2 Timothy 2:21 If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.
(Better heard than read. Are we then a feast for the Master?)
Philippians 1:22, 23 But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better.
(Is this the Strait of Magellan? Are the “two” then the Atlantic and Pacific?)
Hebrews 11:26 Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompence of the reward.
(He expected to get rich by hanging with slaves.)
Hebrews 11:29 By faith they passed through the Red sea as by dry land: which the Egyptians assaying to do were drowned.
(What did they a-say? “Watch out for that tidal wave!”?)
Philemon1:19 I Paul have written it with mine own hand, I will repay it: albeit I do not say to thee how thou owest unto me even thine own self besides.
(Payback time for me!)
Daniel 5:6 Then the king’s countenance was changed, and his thoughts troubled him, so that the joints of his loins were loosed, and his knees smote one against another.
(I just wish that I could have witnessed this.)
More tomorrow.